sri lanka day 5...& counting :(

a truth i’m not proud of… if it weren’t for the fact that i’d have to change not one but 4 flights, i’d be on my way “home” now. that fact, and perhaps the realization that i have little idea what actually awaits me at “home”, but possibly no bed of roses…
i had thought to take this journey to prove to myself that i’m ok alone, and at times, certainly, that has proved true… but right now i do not feel ok alone, and am getting very little encouragement from my surroundings, little validation or proof that i still have currency in the human social market. it seems it will take a herculean effort of will to make something pleasant and positive come from these last 2 weeks… which in itself embarrasses me and makes me feel ridiculously bourgeois. it is, after all, such a privilege to be able to travel, such an opportunity to learn from and about other peoples and lands, and i feel like i am wasting it, squandering these riches due to some psychological short-circuiting and deep emotional fatigue.
maybe it will change soon. maybe i will meet someone, anyone, who can provide some companionship. or maybe i will just have to do yoga and meditate for hours every day to push the clock round and round until it is time to leave. i will pray for the ocean’s help with all of this. there are, at least, waves, and i seem to be able to squeeze about an hour's surfing from my shoulder each day if i'm careful :)
 i have 5 days in this “town” ( = strip of surfer hotels and 2 tiny “stores”), and then 8 days of movement, through hill country, national parks, tea estates, and mind-blowing buddhist temple ruins. i know this will help to shift my headspace, so i will rally for these Midigama days and do my very best. meditation will be key, and on that note, i’ll sign off and get to it.

(just one day later)…& sometimes “Happiness” is just a few good waves and a big cold glass of fresh passionfruit juice away…!!!  so, yes, a few people have been met, waves are being surfed, and Things are a little more ok. News from home of my/our beautiful dog Uma’s rapid decline in health notwithstanding, i feel i will survive the next 2 weeks without going mad. Prayers, please, for Uma rallying and holding on a little longer until i can be there with her and Andrew to say goodbye.
PS today there is crazy wind and the swell, while bigger, is quite blown out and a big ol’ mess! not sure if it’ll calm down for sunset surf, but maybe dawn patrol tomorrow? surfing an 8’1 McTavish mini-gun type of affair, of all things! it is surprisingly fun :)
PPS no sunset session for sure - it looks very much like we might actually be in for a rainstorm! we shall see. BTW - not a ton of stuff to photograph with just an iPhone around here, but hope to get a few pictures of the stilt fishermen perched like canaries on tiny platforms on stilts in the sea :)))